#i'd love some bloops

[yandereunsolved]

Im curious, who is you favorite character (boy and girl) from hotd

And whos your fav dragon?

That's a very hard question to answer. I'm going to have to go with Halaena and Aegon.

Aegon is my type in men (physically, not his personality). He's just a complex character, and they totally butched him in the show. I don't completely hate this version of him, but I don't like it either. Jacaerys is a close second. He's incredibly clever and a mama's boy, and I knew a dude just like him. 

Halaena, because she is such a crucial part of winning The Dance of the Dragons. She is a dreamer, and her character has always been so fascinating to me. I can sympathize and empathize with some of the things she has been subjected to. So I see some of myself in her. We'd also vibe really well because I'd love to sit down and listen to her ramble about bugs and other things. It'd be so fun to braid her hair and have a bond with her. 

I am in love with all of the dragons. They are all so unique. One of HOTD's many flaws is having the dragons so far removed. I suspect it was probably because of the budget; rendering those dragons look so realistic costs a lot of money. They could have angled shots to keep the rider on the screen and the 'dragon' out of it if they really needed to. 

With that, said Balerion the Black Dread. He's a big dragon, which is so cool!? He was the largest of them since Aegon's conquest. He was ridden by Aegon I Targaryen and Maegor I Targaryen!? He seems like such a badass who would be very overprotective and loyal to his rider. He can totally be summed up with the 'we're bloopin' meme. 

bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop.

"Iris, that is a predator—"

"He's not a predator."

"What are you???"

"We're bloopin." continues to ramble to Balerion and pet his snout.

[lezzballer]

In another fandom I'm in, I've seen people use AI to draft fics. And the drafts are pretty convincing. They match the style and tone of fandom writing pretty well.

And now I'm realizing that everything I write and publish for free on here gets scanned by AI. All the time I spend thinking about word choice and imagery and feelings is vacuumed up by a machine.

Someday I want to write a romance novel with some lovely heroines on a grand adventure. I like studying and writing about female athletes because they have the character qualities you find in epic sagas. So when I write about these women, it's an exercise for myself. My little experiments and exercises are a data set for my own brain to use. And any other human brain who finds my writing data interesting is welcome to take inspiration from it. I'd love that.

But now my writing data is also being put in a fanfic AI blender. And I don't love that. Someone will tell the AI "write a fic about blooblah blooping bleebloo's blop till it bloinks." And then the AI blends all our writing into a smoothie and repurposes it for blooblah smut.

Some of the AI fics I've seen are super convincing. They're never very original and they reuse a lot of the same phrases and concepts over and over. But if you told me a human wrote them, I'd believe you.

Some aspects of the WBB fic space make me uncomfortable. And this is one of them. Some phrases and concepts I see are reminding me of AI fics. So now I don't know what is real and what is AI. Sometimes I wonder if online fandom spaces have become a house of mirrors.

[astro-inthestars]

To my Dearest Friends.....

You KNOW that on this day about LOVE and CARING and ADMIRATION I will ABSOLUTELY do something cheesy for my friends <3

Okay but in all seriousness. Thank you. To my friends who have been with me since my early days on Tumblr, and to my new ones whom I have gotten close with and whose company I enjoy dearly..... I love you. Thank you for being in my life. You have no idea how honored I am to know that I am loved by such amazing people, so as always, I return the favor tenfold.

I'd usually write a four paragraphed essay about how amazing my friends are, and how they've changed my life, and how they make me a better person... But I'm sleepy now and I have school tomorrow, so this is short- Either way, please know that you are loved. Even if you aren't my friend!! i want you to know that I care about you! And on this day about love, know that I love you, for what it's worth.

Now, time to tag some amazing people (my friends btw) Only the ones I can remember at this moment though i am very sleeby

@serizawasweep @chaosites @joyflameball @just-jammin @djts-arts @ghost-vessel @brainless-but-thats-all @ayyyyysexual @sashimi-buttons @alien-space-cat @bloop-arts @borkthemork @slymanner @maritasdump @miraclesprinkles @totallynottogsblog @chipistrate @s0ckh3adstudios @notafamousblog (CREATOR WHY TF CANT I @ YOU BITCH) @the-real-aurora-borealis @thefunnyalice @twipsai @deadlydoofus @omori-sv-au @freemonngo and many more I cannot remember right now for the life of me- BUT JUST KNOW I LOVE YOU WHOEVER ANY OF YOU ARE!! HAPPY VALENTINES!!!

[tco-old]

Happy Holidays! Here's The Bowuigi Medley!

(SoundCloud Link)

I've done it! I've created a (mostly) Mario medley based entirely on Bowuigi.

Heads Up: While putting this together, I realized this medley gets a bit crunchy on mobile device speakers. I'd recommend use of headphones or a desktop or such to listen to this, if that option is available to you.

Clocking in at 6 minutes, it's not my longest medley, though I think it's the one I put the most thought into overall. There's a whole story outline in my mind, with acts and everything, that determined pretty much every detail of how this was put together. I won't be posting said 'story' here, though I'll likely be making a post of it soon (which I'll link here once I do).

There's multiple sections in here that I might end up isolating and extending into full pieces. I didn't expect Luigi's and Bowser's music to gel together as well as they did, though I guess the same could be said for the ship as a whole.

My next endeavor will probably be a winter-y themed medley of sorts. That was, as it happens, my original plan for a Christmas release, but Bowuigi took over my brain, so this ended up coming first.

I hope I've done the ship justice, and I hope you enjoy! And, once again, happy holidays! ☆

Credits and Tracklist are Below the Cut!

The Following Tracks Come from NinSheetMusic.

More specifically, the Super Mario, Paper Mario, and Mario Kart sections. Names/Links provided below for the people who made the sheet music I referenced.

Mario and Luigi's House, Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door - Sebastian

Luigi's Casino, Super Mario 64 DS - Don Valentino

Bowser Battle, Super Mario Bros 3 - The Deku Trombonist

Stage Clear (Slowed), Luigi's Mansion - Nacho2420

Luigi's Story, Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door - Sebastian

Luigi's Mansion, Mario Kart DS - Bloop

Angry Bowser, Paper Mario - Maelstrom

Bowser's Galaxy Generator, Super Mario Galaxy 2 - Purple1222119

Main Theme, Luigi's Mansion - Sebastian

Princess Peach is Rescued, Super Mario World - Sekter77

The Grand Finale/In The Final, Bowser's Inside Story - Rubikium

...honestly, NinSheetMusic is a stellar site for anyone looking to learn some Nintendo songs on piano (and even some non-Nintendo games!). They've got so much covered, it's insane. That sounds like a sponsor bit but I swear it's not.

The Following Come from MuseScore.

Names of the creators of the sheet music and links to said sheet music referenced are provided below.

Masochism Tango, Tom Lehrer - frejt

Bowser's Castle, Super Mario World - mielesgamesfa

Meant To Be Yours, Heathers: The Musical - tlee524

Tale As Old As Time, Beauty and the Beast - Michel Dikovec

Ghostly Galaxy, Super Mario Galaxy - XiaoMigros

Final Battle with Bowser, Super Mario Galaxy - XiaoMigros

Wedding Hall, Super Mario Odyssey - ethan0515

The Following Comes from a Very Shady PDF.

Seriously. I've linked the PDF just to give the credit where it's due, and generally the PDF itself is safe to view. However, near the top of the sheet there's a very shady link that I would not recommend clicking, as I have no clue where it actually goes if you let it load fully.

Love Story, Taylor Swift - Ludy

[gay4way]

dearest greyson,

i remember the first time you messaged me, four whole months ago. it was fanmail, for a fic I finished soon after. i was ecstatic that day, and i still am every time you hit send and my phone goes *bloop*.

sometimes I reread our chats, starting from the top and working my way down to the bottom, watching our relationship progress over those four months in the span of mere minutes, fast-forwarding through digital time. 

some times it feels like i'm sending you postcards from the bottom of the ocean and sometimes not, but one thing's always been clear -- our love, even before we were married.

you're the light of my life, the half-doomed to my semi-sweet, and I wouldn't have it any other way. separated by a screen, but connected by the strings of our hearts. severed at the wrist, and yet I'll still find a way to hold your hand. 

you make feel alive, reanimating my rotting corpse of a soul night after night after night, through some combination of stupid weezer memes and keyboard witchcraft. you don't just create the light behind my eyes, you *are* that light, that effervescent glow, that constant reminder that someone out there loves me.

if life were a galaxy, then we'd be a binary star system, orbiting around each other for the rest of eternity, with nothing but a faint glow and our love for each other to keep us safe in the ever-present vacuum of space, and i'd cherish every minute of it. we'd live forever, and maybe we *could* live forever, if we had the time.

these cold, dead hands of mine could write a million more stanzas of this discombobulated poem/dead letter (marked return to sender as always with but a digital stamp) and it would never be enough to describe just how much i love you.

happy valentine's day, and here's to many more <33333

xo,

moss <3

hoooly fuck i am so close to crying over this right now and probably will later later but seriously thank you i wish i had the ability to write you something like this in response though even if i did it would even come close to the master piece that is this message <3333 i love you so so much

[student-in-nightraven]

hii, could i rq a matchup with anyone from obey me, twst or kamisama kiss? ☆⌒ヽ(*'､^*)

im a bi girl, 5'3, intp-t 4w5 + aquarius, id say im some kind of ambiverted like 60% awkward-reserved-anti-social introvert and 40% chaotic, rambly, all over the place, once i start i dont stop extrovert?? depends on my mood i think (˘∀˘) for some random traits i'm erratic, eccentric, conscientious, creative, empathetic, unserious, sarcastic, not a team player and definitely come across as strange to literally anyone not used to me

hmmmm some hobbies i have are baking, writing, editing and arts + crafts (drawing, painting, making my own random stuff like candles, soap, stickers) - very practical very fun 🧝‍♀️ i also like gaming when i have time which is basically always bc im lazy and hate work, i leave everything last minute and procrastinate so much bc i and i'd rather be doing what i want instead of boring stuff 😒👎 it all ends up rushed and low effort unless im passionate abt it. probably why i'm also never on time but that's also bc i love sleeping

if i had to pick a label for whatever my style's supposed to be {bc i just dress in whatever looks good tbh} i'd say a hybrid of grunge and indie maybe💪😘 i take pride in my dress sense actually i think its gojus (μ_μ)

i have collections/mini collections of a couple things - plushies, crystals, stickers, bracelets and i keep anything and everything people might give me, i've done it as long as i can remember, like not even gifts just if someone gives me a rock or a piece of stationery or origami etc it'll be in my possession forever i'm too sentimental to get rid of anything, i have so much scattered everywhere it's unfunny 🧍‍♀️ i think my love languages are physical affection bc i love closeness altho im crap with emotional stuff but words of affirmation and mushy fluffy stuff can be pretty neat {even if it's embarrassing and awkward xox} + gifts bc i love buying myself stuff and receiving presents, i also like giving them but i feel like i'm spending too little or too much or compare it to what they give back to me and feel like it's not good enough or what they'd want bc i'm usually either too stingy or spend too much and think too much + feel bad when it feels like i don't give back to people as much as they give to me in any sense?? | (• -•)|

i love purple, literature, rock/pop/dance/techno music, space, halloween, history, things that smell nice/scented stuff, philosophy, nature, horror, psychology, fantasy, sweet/sour/salty foods, and animals {especially my bunnies ofc, my pride and joy <3} so im working towards becoming a vet bc im good w science and i'd definitely rather look after them than humans bc i am not a people person i'd fail miserably xox

i don't like ppl who are ignorant or inconsiderate bc they're annoying and punchable, my family, the ocean bc it's scary and doing embarrassing stuff which tbh is basically everything smh

anyways i tried to condense whatever i could think of LMAO but i cba to do anymore 💀💌 thank u!!

The Kamisama requests always make me happy:')

I match you with..

..

...Mizuki!

The most gentle and sweet lover in the whole world.

He matches you like CRAZY, soulmates real;

Loves being chaotic with you, getting caught up in shenanigans and being lovey dovey with you;

He just randomly snuggles up to you whether it's in his snake form or human form, if snake form let's out occasional cute bloops that you die for, he also does the cute snake yawn, he knows it's cute and he's doing it on PURPOSE;

I hc that mizuki is great at portraits and has painting sessions with you in which you 2 paint in peace and show eachother the piece;

You teach him how to properly bake so that he doesn't drop lizards in almost everything you bake-

"but-but it's for good luck:("

"Mizuki, no"

He encourages you not wanting to work and lazes off with you, if for no reason Tomoe comes over he annoyingly comments on how as your familiar mizuki shouldn't encourage this but who listens to him;

Spends mornings sleeping in with you, if you have to go to school he'll just transform into his snake form and accompany you there!

Loves your collection of crystals and other things, so he finds the most beautiful crystals just for you♡

Loves your bunnies and cradles them in his hands, your basically a family, your bunnies have a dad now;

So in all he's the perfect match for you, the most peaceful and loveable relationship ♡⁠˖

Thank you for the request dear annon! May you have a wonderful week<3

[grapecaseschoices]

as the time approaches us, i just wanted to say that i am IMMEDIATEY sus of anyone who does not have an F mc (mainly @ those who have an mc for each ro EXCEPT F Hauville) and/or (doubly sus) doesn’t have any F content on their blog. 

as someone who's also black myself I definitely agree with the F hauville not being as popular, specially since friends to lovers seems to be quite a popular trope in if, specially when the character in question is white or ambiguously light brown/tan skinned, but the author never mentions where the character is actually from (I wish more authors put where the character is from in terms of ethnicity and nationality because the amount of white washed art/erased ethnic features in art I've seen generally in the IF community is not cute but anyways). I do have some problems with the way F and M are portrayed and treated by the author at times, specially when it comes to some of the racial stereotypes used and the portrayal of Sin, an assyrian character in Book 3 as a trapped man, but that's a point for another day. I absolutely adore Wayhaven but I do wish that F was treated better by the fandom. I think sometimes some fans kind of infantilise F and just brush them off as the sassy best friend with no other role in the story, which is kind of sad because if you actually play they're route you get to see that theres more to them than meets the eye in the same way that the other ros do.

why do i need to say more when you already said it all so well anon?

bloop! what more can i say to this? this is true facts. like i get that sometimes a lot of people ARE tired of that trope -- especially on tumblr; and people do love the angsty. But it is STILL a very popular trope for a reason. And I've seen with my own eyes how the sweet RO/best friend RO goes well over when they aren't black (and in certain circumstances, when they aren't a person of color period -- but especially when they aren't black*) that I can't fully buy that the preference argument isn't back with some racial bias. But whatever, people can make peace with themselves about it. I will remain sus.

have you been reading my brain anon? because that was going to be my NEXT bitchy/vent post. But I was like let me pace the dashes. But respect for put it all out there.

I need writers to bring back putting descriptions on their intro posts (they did it for a time but stopped) or doing a description post immediately. 1) Because of what you stated and 2) because I want to make sure I'm not wasting my time on a game that is fully white. /shrugs. I mean I guess it is good that, if they feel they can't write minoroities not to include them at all -- because as you said, I wouldn't want to invest in a story where the black and brown characters are then treated stereotypically. But that still doesn't mean that I want to read a story where the majority is white and the lone amibigously brown/East Asian RO is barely developed.

No, do go on anon. (When you feel like it that is!) I'd love to read your thoughts. I do think Sera has improved in respects of her writing of F and M as characters in the story, both in and out of their own routes. However, I do agree that the whole Sin thing did make me side-eye hard. I heard she's gotten sensitivity readers, so we shall see how that goes.

Well stated. This is, in the crux, is my frustration of the matter. That and the fact that this is STILL an issue. As I stated in my tags, I HAVE seen improvement -- but just going through the F Hauville tag shows how much F is still a general afterthought to the general tumblr fandom.

[tatiejosie]

6 & 19!

6. 3 characters that inspire you

Marco Pagot/Porco Rosso from Porco Rosso. His entire vibe is incredible. He has this bulky, masculine figure that perfectly compliments his confidant but level-headed attitude. He's knowledgable and cynical, but he shows respect for people who are suffering. His complete lack of self-awareness concerning his relationship with Gina and his attractiveness is also very much a mood. Bro has the biggest sex-appeal of the entire Adriatic sea and he still blushes when some girl kisses him on the cheek out of admiration. Like wow, same.

fun fact Porco Rosso is one of my fav Ghibli movie and i kin w Marco bc one of my partners is like exactly like Gina and we're like "uwu us" about this

Eddie Valiant from Who framed Roger Rabbit. Same vibes as Marco - small bulky man is cynical and isolates himself from the world. His violent, unresolved trauma prevents him from indulging in the work that he used to love. He has a short temper, replies with snark even to the cops, knows how to fight, will fight even if you're twice his size, is both street smart and generally intelligent for his detective work, is a little weak for Pretty Women but stands his ground nontheless.

Olga from Tout en haut du monde/Long way north. What can I say?? Fat mean MILF runs an inn by herself, puts little bourgeoise protagonist in her place when she disrespects her involuntarily, knows how to read a senior sailor's navigation plans and maps, immediately offers help and guidance to get justice, lies to the cops, is on casual first-name basis with Big Gruff Sailor That Everyone Respects. She's tough and caring, she values hard work and honour, she's an intimidating, massive woman who snaps back by default, but knows when someone needs, deserves to be cared for. Olga is so deeply respected by the local sailors that when Sacha disrespects her, everyone fucking pauses and side-eyes her.

Tell me this is not the last thing you'll see before your immediate death. Anyways please watch Tout en haut du monde. in french. or i'll bite you very hard

19. 3 animals you’d love to take care of in your house

A cat...... I want a cat. I need a soft purring creature that can sleep and cuddle with me.

Eventually I'd like to own a dog. But it's far far away in my life plans - I just love big dogs and I'd like to have a big dumb doggo in my life again, someday.

It might not count as something "in my house", but I love koi fish!!!! I go apeshit about them I love touching them and I love when they go and bloop your hand and brush past you to get stroked! I'd love to have enough space to keep koi fish!

“3 things… ask” list

[sky-squido]

How are you doing? I love all your works, and I think you're a great person! Stay hydrated and get lots of sleep!

ah!! thank you!!! this summer has been a gently undulating rollercoaster that regularly alternates between "hnnnnnnnnnnng i miss being okay aaaugh my brain is full of bees" and "oh! everything's actually just... okay! heck yeah!! i feel good!" right now i'd say my head is full of jellies and they are blooping and blorping around. i'm not quite sure what that means either but i don't think i could put it any more accurately if i tried.

as i have for the past two summers now, i've been addicted to sewing, so i have capes and floofy pirate shirts and petticoats galore and i will be flaunting ALL of them next semester, thank you. i've had a digital artblock for some reason, so i've been doodling on paper lots, and i think my writers' block is less writer's block and more "ehhh i'll do it later" (doesn't do it). my goal is still to have the next chapter of hfwkadwm done by the end of the summer, and i think i can make that, because i've knocked out most of my low-hanging-fruit-projects so before too long the next chapter of that will be the next lowest hanging fruit sfkghf.

thanks so much for checking in aaaaah you all are so sweet! i love all you guys so much and am wrapping all of u up in big cozy weighted blankets :D

[missroserose]

🎶✨️when you get this, put 5 songs you actually listen to, then publish. Send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (negotiable, but positivity is cool)🎶✨️

aw man, I haven't done any memes for weeks now (feeling like you're constantly running between crises tends to put a cramp in your social media time), but music memes are my catnip! So lemme see if I can bang this out real quick before the next thing demands my attention:

Billie Eilish & TroyBoi - MyBoi (TroyBoi Remix) I only discovered this one a few days ago when I used it for this pole video, but it's taken up semi-permanent residence in my head since then, so I think that counts as a song I actually listen to. Love the driving beat and the minor-key descending bleep-bloops, apparently that's precisely the combination my brain needs to keep the dopamine flowing right now.

Phantogram - Black Out Days Speaking of keeping the dopamine flowing—both Spotify and Tiktok inform me that I'm far from the only person grooving to this one right now, and justifiably so. The frenetic fourths in that synth hook paired with the just-this-side-of-tonal intervals in the vocal sample set a vibe that the husky vocals pick up and carry into a whole-ass Mood—intense, multifaceted, desperate to find the path to follow between the many conflicting voices. I'd heard and enjoyed some of Phantogram's later work, but none of it has felt this emotionally raw and gripping—or maybe it's just a case of the right song coming along at the right time.

Yuna - Lullabies I first encountered this through a remix of a remix, and traced the hall of mirrors back to the original—which absolutely slaps. The yearning lyrics are beautifully set over soaring chords of the chorus are beautifully done, and the singer's voice is well suited to the material—sweet and almost childlike but with a potential that she's just beginning to realize.

Hot Chip - Flutes I came across this on a crowdsourced NYT playlist for "best workout songs", and damn if it doesn't fit—just try not jogging, or lifting, or elliptical-ing to the beat on that "work that-right-side-left-side-work-that-more" part of the chorus. It's catchy and driving and uncomplicated, everything good old exercise-brain needs when you're moving in for that final push.

John Craigie - Dissect the Bird On a completely different note from the rest of this playlist is this fun little live-show ditty. It's a conceit that could easily have just come across as precious, but the simplicity, almost improvisational nature of the lyrics and the instrumentation helps sell it, as does the singer's sheer earnestness—and damn if he doesn't take it somewhere unexpectedly affecting.

I know this isn't a tag game, but please—if you enjoyed reading this, post about five songs you've been enjoying and why. And tag me! I am always, always down for music discussion <3

[run-aled]

RED VALLEY: WHILE YOU WERE HYPERSLEEPING‘Part Four’

[transcript]

SCENE 1

THE CRYOSUITE. GORDON BUSTLES IN WITH A BOX UNDER HIS ARM.

GORDON: Eyyy! It's only bloody Christmas Eve! Hi Warren. Thought I'd come down and spend some of the evening with you.

GORDON MAKES A FUSS OF SITTING HIMSELF DOWN AND RUMMAGING IN HIS BOX NEXT TO HIM.

GORDON: I had a poke around in the cupboards and found some Christmas shit. There's a little 8 inch silver Christmas tree here made of tinsel. Look… you can have that. Oh… And speaking of tinsel...yikes.

GORDON PULLS TINSEL OUT OF THE BOX, STANDS UP AND DRAPES IT OVER THE POD.

GORDON: There. That fits quite nicely. Oh… Right - the piece of resistance...music.

GORDON PULLS OUT A TAPE RECORDER AND A TAPE.

GORDON: This is 'O Little Town of Bethmayhem', one of Pus Crank’s festive rock medleys. They were a regular fixture at the annual Unholy Night Christmas all-dayer at the club in my hometown. Ah… You would've loved it.

HE LETS THE MUSIC PLAY FOR A MOMENT.

GORDON: So, you look good. I mean your pod looks good. The bleep bloops sound happy. This pod is far more advanced than the ones used on other subjects that I've seen or read about. It's much smaller. More, uh, coffin-sized. Like umm, Spock's coffin in Wrath of Khan. It would fit nicely into a photon torpedo chute, I think? It's fully portable… apparently. They told me it can run on battery power for 100 years, Lightweight alloy, the wheelspop out the bottom if I press the unlock-

HE PRESSES IT. THE HISS OF HYDRAULICS AND A LITTLE BLEEPING ALARM AS THE POD UNLOCKS AND RELEASES IT'S WHEELS.

GORDON: Oh shit. Ah no, Shit. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock.

IT HISSES BACK DOWN AGAIN.

GORDON: Christ.

PAUSE.

GORDON: Anyway. Tis the season, so thought I'd make this a themed visit. You had a Christmas here, Warren. Maybe not all that different to mine. Let’s see how that went shall we. Here's your Ghost of Christmas Past. We're Warren and Gordon, woooooooooo!

HE TURNS OFF THE MUSIC AND HITS PLAY ON HIS OWN TAPE RECORDER. WARREN IS MAKING HIS WAY THROUGH THE MESS ROOM ON CHRISTMAS EVE, 2018.

WARREN: Ding dong merrily on high. I’m making a recording. Youjoin me here at Red Valley, area of outstanding natural misery, National Heritage site of historical tedium, on Christmas Eve. At least, I think it's Christmas Eve. There aren't many indicators out here, I'm just going off a very small desk calendar from the office. Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer still won't even tell me their names, much less the actual date. Even now, when it's just me and them, they tap their little Overhead barcode ID badge and tell me it’s not my concern.

WARREN: I digress. It's bloody Christmas Eve, allegedly! It's 10:45 in the evening and this is Warren Godby, coming live from the Red Valley mess room with a warm bottle of dessert wine, seeing in the birthday of our lord and saviour by treating myself to a Christmas movie. Well,perhaps not an actual bona fide Christmas movie per se, because the collection here appears to contain no discernible festive...oh wait… Jingle All The Way. Two? Jingle All The Way Two? Who made a sequel to Jingle All The - WWE Studios? What the fuck is this?

HE FRISBEES IT.

WARREN: Actually, this DVD collection appears to have been lifted wholesale from Second Time Around. I think every second-hand place has more or less the same collection. Romcoms with red titles on white backgrounds, yes...not one but two copies of The Day After Tomorrow, yes...ex rental copy of The Passion of the Christ, never saw it, save it for Easter...Ah...the unwanted garbage sequel category...Godfather 3, Die Hard 5, Terminator: Genisys, ugh, Prometheus...come on...oh, wait, A Christmas Carol. Oh for fuck sake, CGI Jim Carrey version! Is it too much to ask for a muppet?

THROWS IT BACK.

CUT TO: TIME HAS PASSED. WARREN IS ON THE SOFA.

WARREN: So… Rodrigo didn't make it out of the final test on Tuesday. I came out first, I was in the recovery bay when whatever happened happened. They won't tell me what took place of course. But he's definitely dead. Saw Rumpleteazer mopping up the corridor afterwards. Not as bad as with Ryan, er… they were sponging down the cryosuite for half a day after whatever they did to him. Was he...when was that, was he… was he … was hethird or fourth to go? Why can't I remember that?

WARREN: I thought Rodrigo was going to win. He was young, barely mid-20s, pretty fit. Massive thighs. He was an addict, I knew that much. That was probably it. Still I… I thought he'd last longer than me.

WARREN: I don't really know what happens now. Just Mungojerrie left to tend to the place over the festive season, must've drawn the short straw. Halbech and Rumpleteazer disappeared a couple of days ago. They left in a truck instead of getting picked up by the usual helicopter.Bunch of Overhead roadies jumped out, packed up a lot of stuff this time. Definitely get the feeling that things are wrapping up round here. Jerrie’s in the farmhouse… don't know what he's up to. All looks cosy from here.

WARREN: It's not my first Christmas alone. I actually prefer them that way. Infinitely superior to the holidays I used to have growing up. Boo hoo… Woe is me, getting maudlin. Anyway, I expect whatever the next test is, it'll be the last one. So, let’s make the most of the night. Maybe I'll give Prometheus another shot. How bad can it be. Toodle pip.

CUT FOR THAT ENTRY, BUT THE TAPE ROLLS ON.

GORDON: Well, that wasn't quite the festive cheer I was hoping for, but hey, you're the one who-

WARREN CUTS IN.

WARREN: Oh my god. Oh my god. What was I thinking? Why...why was Guy Pearce even in that movie, why wouldn't you just hire an old person to play an old person...why did they run away from the doughnut spaceship when it was falling over in that direction, if they just turned 90 degrees and they wouldn’t have... forget it. Fine, Let’s do it, CGI Christmas Carol. Goodnight.

PAUSE.

GORDON: Okay. Do we think you're finished or-

BLUE SKY: Sorry, are you talking to me?

GORDON: No, I'm not talking to you. We're still not tal-

WARREN: Why would Robert Zemeckis dedicate so much time to making so many films about creepy dead eyed PlayStation characters? Why? What do you gain? Creepy android Jim Carrey as Ebenezer Scrooge, if Michael Caine was here, he'd step on your fucking neck-

CUT.

BLUE SKY: I'm sorry, I didn't catch that.

GORDON: Warren doesn't enjoy the motion capture period of the director Robert Zemeckis.

BLUE SKY: Robert Zemeckis is a film director who came to promi-

GORDON: I know!

WARREN: Who asked for more Die Hards? Who the fuck is Jai Courtney? No one knows!

GORDON: I'm sure I had some kind of plan for the Ghost of Christmas Present section of all this, but I've completely forgotten it.

WARREN: He’s here. He's in Terminator: Genisys as well! Who the fuck is this guy? How is he playing the son of John McClane and Kyle Reese-

BLUE SKY: Jai Courtney is an Australian actor-

GORDON: Oh my god! Everyone stop talking!

THE TAPE STOPS.

GORDON: Jesus. Well, this was remarkably similar to a family Christmas at my parents’ house, so thanks for that little triggering episode. I think I need some freezing cold air.

GORDON GETS UP TO LEAVE.

GORDON: Oh! Wait! I forgot the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come! Bit of a reach this but it's the best I could do in these uncertain times. A voicemail I got last night.

GORDON HITS VOICEMAIL ON HIS PHONE AND TURNS THE SPEAKER UP LOUD.

VOICEMAIL: Message received at 23:40 p.m. on Monday the 23rd of December.

A PARTY, IN A PUB MAYBE. CLIVE SCHILL, DRUNK, TO THE MELODY OF SILENT NIGHT:

CLIVE: Gordon night, Porlock night, Fuck this up, I'll set you on fire, alight, that's better, I'll set you alight.

CLIVE DROPS HIS PHONE.

VOICEMAIL: Next message received yesterday at 23:43 p.m. on Monday the 23rd of December.

CLIVE: Away in a Gordon, a dick on his head, the little lord Gordon is such a dickhead, I'll be coming in January to see how you are, if you've messed up anything I'll hit you with my car. I'll actually be coming in a helicopter though. A hel-ee-cop-tahh. Merry Christmas bitch, see you soon, love to Warren, kisses, what a dick. Oh hello darling, sorry Daddy was just making a phone call to one of his special frien-

GORDON TURNS OFF THE VOICEMAIL, AND SPENDS A MOMENT CHANGING THE TAPE BACK TO PUS CRANK.

GORDON: So that's something to look forward to, isn't it. I'll leave the music with you for a while. Look… I'll be back tomorrow, we can sing some carols or something. Merry Christmas, Warren.

HE TURNS PUS CRANK BACK UP AND WALKS AWAY.

CUT TO:OUTSIDE THE STATION. IT'S DARK, EVENING. LITTLE BREEZE, JUST SNOW FALLING SOFTLY. GORDON HAS LIT A BONFIRE. IT CRACKLES AS HE STANDS BY IT, STAMPING HIS FEET TRYING TO WARM UP.

GORDON: Personal log. It’s Christmas Eve. Oh, no, it’s it's actually Christmas Day now. I lit a fire with the left over wood. Thought it would be a problem with the snow falling but I tossed the dregs of some anaesthetic vapour over it. Nearly took my bloody eyebrows off.

THE FIRE CRACKLES AS GORDON THINKS.

GORDON: Don't know what I was thinking expecting anything cheerful to come from Warren's Christmas Eve. Bit of blind festive optimism I suppose. Anyway, that was actually his last tape. So, I know what happened next. They went for the big one, they put him under properly. Just like he is now. You know… I haven't really talked about what happened that first night here. Bryony let me watch it all. And I did, I stood there and I watched. They put him under general anaesthetic, put a tube in his mouth to ventilate him, started putting all these lines in his arteries and veins. They put gunk in his eyes to protect them and covered them up with goggles. They gave him an infusion to bring down his core temperature.

GORDON: Then… they transferred him into that pod, the giant cigar tube. No one was concerned. Except me. The pod then filled with water, or what looked like water. You could feel the cold coming off it. They let me touch it. It's like er… jelly. And all the time his heart is slowing, all the beeps are dropping in tone and pace and it looked like no one wanted to help, that they were just going to watch him… die.

GORDON: And then it all went quiet. And then the most absurd little ring tone noise, like when Sonic gets an extra life or something. And he was...hypersleeping. And I went to my new bedroom and had a panic attack. So... er, yeah… there we go! A little taste of life at Red Valley.

GORDON COMES OUT OF HIS THOUGHTS AND STEPS BACK FROM THE FIRE, GOING TO PICK UP A FIRE EXTINGUISHER HE BROUGHT WITH HIM.

GORDON: The fire’s gone down now. I could let the snow put it out but it’s much more fun using the fire extinguisher, never used one in the real world, but here I use it all the time.

WITH A LOUD HISS GORDON LETS RIP, PUTTING OUT THE FIRE IN A FEW SECONDS.

GORDON: Yippee ki yay Mother Hubbard! THE FIRE HISSES AS IT DIES.GORDON: There is something to being out here all alone in the dark. You can be completely...honest.

HE THINKS FOR A MOMENT, BEFORE YELLING TO THE SKIES:

GORDON: I WATCHED PROMETHEUS THE OTHER NIGHT AND I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS THAT BAAAAAAAAD!

SUDDENLY, IN THE DISTANCE, A SOUND. A CAR ENGINE STARTING.

GORDON: What was that?

HEADLIGHTS HAVE TURNED ON.

GORDON: What the...Hey!

HE STARTS TO RUN TO THE SOURCE OF THE NOISE. THE CAR, OR VAN, OR WHATEVER IT IS, STARTS PULLING A THREE POINT TURN, TO LEAVE.

GORDON: Hey! If you didn't want to be seen, don't shine your full beams at me! Hey! I didn't mean that about Prometheus! Come back!

THE VEHICLE HAS TURNED AND WITH A CRUNCH OF GEARS AND WHEEL SPIN ON GRAVEL, DEPARTS. GORDON RUNS ON FOR ANOTHER MOMENT BEFORE GIVING UP.

GORDON: You better have been Santa!

HE TAKES A MOMENT TO CATCH HIS BREATH.

GORDON: Does Santa drive a camper van?

END.

[crehador]

there is some sound effect in armored core 6 that is a bit like the first two bloops in tainted love and it just kept repeating again and again driving me crazy because i'd half-forgotten i had an armored core 6 stream playing in some tab and thought tainted love had just started playing? somewhere in the distance?? but only the first two notes on loop???

[eggman-is-fat-mkay]

*pinches bridge of nose*

I've talked before about how one of my biggest pet peeves in internet discourse is not even bothering to read someone's entire response before deciding that they're Wrong™ and it's okay to mock them. In my eyes, that reply was about 60% baby, and if you only read the part that was bathwater before deciding to throw it all out, you missed out on a lot.

OF COURSE the point of roleplaying is to have fun. If the rules are stupid, you can bend them or throw them out altogether. Axelofthekey's response was about how they love completely open-ended RP with no rules just for fun and/or storytelling, as long as it isn't pretending to be a game with rules. Their point was that open ended RP is wonderful and enjoyable when they're in the mood for it, but when they sit down to watch A Game, they expect rules to be followed, or at the very least bent equally for everyone and then applied the same way later, not just made up on the spot and forgotten about in the next scene. Hence "Do I get to react multiple times? That's huge actually. I'll keep that in mind for later. It'd be really cool if I got "accidentally" caught by the guards and then used that to bust out in a really epic fight scene."

I'd like to stress that last point. Bending the rules is great as long as you agree on what the changed rules are before making character decisions. You can even make them up on the fly as long as you don't forget about them the next time they would be applicable. You can do that all you want and still call it a game with rules.

It's also perfectly fine to just throw the entire rulebook in the trash because it's boring. That's cool too -- it can be loads of fun and a great way to tell stories -- but it's not D&D anymore, and calling it that feels disingenuous. It kind of feels like you only put D&D in the title of your podcast because no one would've clicked if you'd said "roleplay".

It's the same reason I rebel against people calling anything even remotely adjacent to the pixel-art style "8-bit". When I sit down to watch something 8-bit, I want to see hardware limitations. I want to see sprites going through a palette cycle because that was a computationally-cheap-but-flashy way to do animations. I want to hear music coming out of a sound chip that the people who designed that sound chip never thought it was possible to produce. I want to see an 8-bit computer showing off what it can do. I don't want to see a handful of pixel-art sprites on beautifully rendered, hand-painted backgrounds and text boxes full of beautifully-kerned, high-resolution TrueType fonts, accompanied by a pseudo-chiptune soundtrack that inexplicably has violins in it. Like, yeah, I love that art style too, but don't call it 8-bit. Call it pixel art.

I like blips and bloops, dgmw, but I don't want "Oh boy! Blips and bloops!" to be the legacy of 8-bit. I want the C64 demoscene to be the legacy of 8-bit. By the same token, I think, axelofthekey doesn't want "here are some races and classes, go nuts" to be the legacy of D&D.

When you don't want to respect the D&D rulebook, fine. Open RP is wonderful and chaotic and I love that too. But don't call it D&D. Call it roleplay.

Occasionally I take a peak at DnD Podcast Criticism Subreddits out of morbid curiousity and by god you will find people out there who hate entertainers with every fiber of their being. If they're not playing exactly one-to-one with DnD rules and if they even ATTEMPT comedy or drama dudes online in these miserable little circles shake with rage. I totally think criticism towards a lot of DnD shows is fair, it's great to want the shows you listen to to improve, but good lord

If you talk like this about DnD shows online I know in my heart of hearts playing a tabletop game with you would be misery incarnate

[jaimistoryteller]

Hi dear, have a bloop!

*smiles* thanks dear, I appreciate bloops! 

Here’s another one about the Puppy. Err. Declan. 

Declan wants to become an agent to find those who do harm on international levels, never did he think that he’d work for an organization that has caused international harm. Meeting Jon is a bit of an eye opener. 

Send a bloop, get random fact about a character!

@pen-for-sword

[converginglives]

dropping a bloop in here just cos :3

Hi sweetheart, thanks for the bloop! Here’s some info on my newest character!

Faqeeha - Fae to close friends - grew up Harlem, with her parents and three siblings. 

Send a Bloop (or multiples) and get some facts!

[sirthisisa-wendys]

ummm can we have sanzu taking reader's virginity. tysm!

Bloopity bloop!

Pretty Please: Sanzu Haruchiyo x Fem!Reader

wc: 756

tw: NSFW

masterlist

song recommendation:

"Okay, what is your biggest pet peeve?"

20 Questions seems to be going well for Sanzu tonight, you muse. You're asking things about his normal, day-to-day life, which he seemed to enjoy more than when you asked about his gang involvement.

"Pet peeves... Oh, when someone is talking too loud."

"So... me?"

Sanzu looks over at you on the picnic blanket, hands behind his head as the stars dance overhead. "Yeah, you talk way too loud." You giggle, then lace your fingers over your stomach. "Um... the weirdest place you've had sex."

Sex?

You swallow hard, eyes focused on the stars above as you contemplate the truth or the lie.

The lie: you'd say you had sex in a park at night.

The truth? You'd never had sex before. Ever.

"Uh, pass."

"You can't pass on twenty questions," Sanzu deadpans, but you shake your head.

"Pass." He leans on his elbow, looking down at you with his beautiful eyes.

"What? Afraid to tell me what a little freak you are?"

"Not really," you mumble.

"I'm sure it's not that bad." You hesitate, but then whisper softly,

"I've... never had sex before." Sanzu pauses, blinking a few times.

"Very funny, y/n. Now come on, just tell me."

"I'm serious." Your tone convinces Sanau that you're not just yanking his chain, and he whispers,

"Oh..." He looks away, which is what you're afraid of, but then looks back at you, his eyes full of devious desire. "Want to have sex right here?"

"Well, I--" You consider the fact that you're in an empty field, but that this is also not how you imagined having sex for the first time.

"Or my place. Probably better there."

"I mean..."

"If you don't want to, then we can definitely wait. But I'd like to have you over tonight, at least. You know I like spending time with you."

"I like spending time with you, too," you reply, smiling at Sanzu as he leans forward to kiss you deeply.

_____________________________________________________________

"I love you," Sanzu murmurs into your ear as you stand in front of the mirror. "You're so damn beautiful."

"Sanzu..." you whisper, and his fingers hold your hips tightly. Your eyes close and he kisses down your neck, leaving wet spots behind. "Feels so good..."

"Let's take a bath, yeah? Unwind from the day?"

You agree, and ten minutes later, you're both in lavender-scented water, your back against his chest. The bubbles around you are massive, and Sanzu hums as he rubs your shoulders, relishing in the feeling of your bare skin in his hands. When they ghost over your breasts, you stiffen a little, but then relax into his touch.

"I want you," he moans. "Please let me touch you like this." Sanzu's begging is enough to make you melt, and you turn around in the tub, facing him.

"Touch me, Sanzu." A grin breaks out on his face, and he leans forward to kiss you on the lips, adjusting you so you're sitting on his lap. You make out with Sanzu slowly, taking your time exploring him in a way that you've never allowed yourself to do before.

Sanzu grips the base of his cock and slides it between your pussy lips before pressing up slightly, trying to enter you. You flinch, but Sanzu tuts softly, holding you close.

"Okay, okay... we can wait."

"No," you assert. "Try again."

It takes you both some time, but when Sanzu finally slides into you, you feel yourself stretch to accommodate his girth and length.

"Oh, my god..." you gasp, shaking sightly. "Holy shit."

"Babe," Sanzu whines, eyes rolling back into the back of his head. "You-- my God -- you feel incredible."

"Fuck me, Sanzu," you moan against his lips. "Fuck me." Sanzu says nothing as he moves his hips in the water, sloshing it around in the tub without a care in the world. You rise up and down in his lap, feeling every ridge, the curve, and the veins in his dick in ecstacy.

"You're so tight," Sanzu groans. "Don't know if I'm going to last long. Might cum in you."

You can barely hear him over your own moaning, and Sanzu won't repeat himself, not when you're riding him like this. You feel yourself unravel in Sanzu's arms, quivering and trying to keep it together, but you can't.

"I... I..."

You explode. Your body feels like it's giving up, and Sanzu pulls you close, letting you spill yourself over him while he does the same inside of you.